Who am I? I am a wife, a mother and a woman on a search for her true self. This blog is a recording of my search, my experiences, and my own little quirks that I've decided to share with the world.

I am also unemployed, changing professions through education, and involved in a move from one part of the country to another. This blog will also record all the trials and tribulations in my search for a realtor to sell, the communications with the realtor that I've chosen in the new area, and any and all experiences within. I look forward to the feedback.

Basically - a woman's diary - edited for the public and to share my thoughts, feelings and impressions of the world around me.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Life with an Addict

So, this is a hard blog to write about. If my parents ever decide to read it they will be truly pissed. I mean, it is hard to discuss, but how do you say to your Mom, "You're a drug addict and I want you to go to rehab so that you can live." My mom is 70. She has a chronic, degenerative bone problem in her lower lumbar spine. However, her pain threshold is ZERO. I mean, to her a minor headache is a migraine. For those of us out there that have actually suffered from and experienced a migraine, it does not take a 20 minute nap to get rid of it. Oh no, this is a serious condition that takes serious Excedrin or other pharmaceutical drugs to get rid of it. It can take a full day to several days to get rid of it as well as the symptoms.

My mom is taking all kinds of different drugs. They are mostly all pain killers and she will eventually go to sleep and never wake up. I expect this to actually happen in the next two years or so. Being a medium, I don't usually have clairvoyance, but when reading my mom's aura when she was here at Thanksgiving, it kind of let me know what I was dealing with. She slept all day on Wednesday (the day after arriving) and didn't get that it was the drugs that she was taking. I mean she takes Ambien, as well as all these pain killers.

My sister and I have talked about it. She has talked to my dad about it, but he chooses to take the road less traveled and avoid the discussion with her about all the drugs. I mean, she brings with her a Gallon size ziplock bag full of her medications. The majority of them are not supplements, oh no, they are heavy duty pain killers.

I find this to be extremely upsetting and sad. I cannot say anything to my family because 1.) it will bring drama; and 2.) no one wants to hear it.

So I will slowly watch my mother kill herself. In a family that swore that I would be the drug addict, wasteoid, I am the one that recognizes it in others and refuses to take medication unless I can't stand up. I'd rather have pain and say, "I'm alive and I feel it!" I mean why live every day in a fog? I'd rather see it clearly and enjoy it. Life was meant to be lived.

Thank you for allowing me to vent.

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